Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
