its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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