But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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