I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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