I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
