sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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