just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize