Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
