Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
