Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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