Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize