I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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