Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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