It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
