do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
