hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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