Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
