Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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