so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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