Plan B is the new Plan A
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i now understand why vodka
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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