similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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