Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...

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(212): View more from New York

that's an acceptable place to lick

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"

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(+44): View more from England

Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,

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(858): View more from California

I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting

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