at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
