oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
