my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize