Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
