She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
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If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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