and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
