I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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