im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
