good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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