your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
