So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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