Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
