..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize