we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
