I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
