look no pants
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
