Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
