Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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