I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
