she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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