It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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