yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
