i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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