just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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