Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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