Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
