you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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