my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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