I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
