this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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