I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
