you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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