I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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